An Affirmative Argument for Male Nudity

March 26, 2018


Gay / Str8 or somewhere on the scale, the male ego is a fragile thing. Protected in societies the world over, by social mores and purchasing power, one could argue that some of the greatest wars and harshest conflicts could have been avoided if the personalities of clashing dynasties didn't turn everything into a proverbial pissing match. The argument could also be made that if the male ego were less fragile we could reduce the rates of rape, domestic violence and addiction. We'd probably lose half the drama filling up your entertainment system but this is about change and sacrifices must be made. 


So how does one fix the male ego? Well, we've gotten toughen him up. And perhaps we should start with his most prized possession, his manhood. Actress slash icon and #BlackGirlMagic incarnate, Issa Rae freely spoke of her desire to see more dicks on screen on her last press tour and I couldn't agree with her more. 
  *start clip at 3 minutes 34 seconds*

In an effort to be a good feminist ally, I’ve prepared the below argument. Fair warning, my stanning of this subject has pretty much reached Tina Knowles at the 2017 GRAMMYs level and I will not be silenced! For any of those who I offend and to my mother… I’m sorry.


RESOLVED, lack of male nudity across entertainment mediums and platforms is a concerted effort to protect and preserve the male ego while depriving women of their Darwinian right to survive with the fittest. 


For the sake of clarification, the following truths must be accepted:

- Fittest as it relates to the male genitalia is described as the "most appealing" penis – typically biggest in length and or girth.
- Western society has correlated the size, height and overall presence of female breast with beauty.

- Society and media continue to push the notion that sexual pleasure is directly correlated to penis size

- Western males ignorantly equate their masculinity to their ability to please a partner and their penis size

- Western society pushes the notion that the perfect man is indeed, masculine



Social Justice - Western society spent the better half of the 20th century sexualizing female anatomy and prioritizing male pleasure. Succumbing to current social norms through the objectification of males and increased concern for female pleasure is the only way for the society to be both just and fair.  The criterion for measuring social justice should be that of equality over retaliation. Because male breast are not sexualized the same way female breast are and because the penis is the most visible part of the male anatomy similar to the breast for women, the law of retaliation is not relevant. Equality must be established through societal norms not technicalities.


Contention 1:  The Male Ego is a Punk Ass Bitch

The ego is often linked with competition. Be it in or with another person or through the idea of “winning a prize” ... competition amongst men is real. This is particularly true when it comes to American men whose country was basically built as a big “FUCK YOU” to their homelands. Sigmund Freud suggest that young boys spend their first 5 years getting their self-esteem from their mother-figure and then seek to make her proud. As an adult, that man will then seek to replace his mother with a mate. A mans inability to make his mate proud shatters his sense of self and then he spirals. Like a punk ass bitch.

The focus on a large shlong can be traced back to 9th century author Al-Jahiz who wrote: if the length of the penis were a sign of honor, then the mule would belong to the Quraysh – the tribe of Muhammad. Even the bible, talks about a “whore” who lust for lots of men with baby legs – Ezekiel 23: 18 – 20.

Regardless of the reasons why some have everything and others have nothing, the fact that penis size is something that can be measured, makes it viable for competition. Meaning… someone can lose. And because there is absolutely no control over the size of your doodle, this puts men in a weak position. We have no control, and we LOVE control. In a world of diverse desires and biology, it also means there can truly never be the perfect penis. Every “receiver” has a different preference for their “giver”. In an effort to save themselves of the inevitable disparities amongst their bros in the locker room, men just started looking above the chin and stopped asking questions. Which is why most hetero pornography doesn’t actually show penis and why most Western men prefer boxers and board shorts to briefs and speedos.


Contention 2: Current social constructs protect men from being usurped by women as the superior sex because men suck


The ability to rank a person's value based off something they can't control creates the insecurity and sense of competition that men have used to hold women back since the beginning on time. 

Men are uncomfortable being subjected to the same beauty or “sex standards” that they hold women to because in a competition of size, most men won’t win. The average penis size is 5.16 inches. Which means that 75% men are smaller than the 25% of men walking around with a baseball bat in between their thighs. If male anatomy were to be quantified the same way female anatomy is, we would lose a portion of the power that our dear patriarchy affords us. 

In the animal kingdom, the females typically do the choosing. However, in our world where women are “in charge” then “weaker” men would never find a mate.

Monogamy saves the less-endowed. Outside of a patriarchy, if men were able to have multiple wives and we as a society continued to perpetuate the idea that masculinity and desirability is equated to dick length, then men with small penises wouldn’t be able to find a mate. Women would be able to choose the richer men with the biggest meat and in theory, would be happy as a clam. Penis invisibility partnered with male desire for big breast and the increase of breast visibility, is the way that our society ensures that crap guys get a chance with great women.

Contention 3: A Society that Valued Equality Amongst the Sexist would Free the Peen


If we are to assume that big dicks equal big pleasure then we must also accept that women want men to have big dicks just as badly as men want to have big dicks. More dicks on screens across all mediums empower women similarly to how increased visibility has empowered marginalized communities throughout history. Equal objectification and prioritizing female pleasure, allows women to rank men the way men have done to women for centuries. In addition, equality can not be found by reducing the amount of breast seen on screen or by shifting the conversation away from male pleasure because the damage has already been done. The only way to fix the issue is by adapting to shitty Western standards and reducing men to nothing much than inches and their ability to please. RESTORATIVE JUSTICE!


Equality and justice are not mutually exclusive and they do not exist in a vacuum. In an society where men are allowed to have an appetite for sex and crave certain physical attribute the same must be allowed of women, this is equal. Moreover, if women are to be pressured into provocative clothing, ogled as they walk down the streets and stripped naked for independent student films looking for that ‘it” factor, then so should men, because that is just. 

As long as we as a culture continue to enforce penis invisibility and allow men to hold a  disproportionate about of power, they will continue to prioritize male desires and cater to the male ego. As a society we must begin to strip men of their mystery and in turn, their power. We must then graciously and gleefully hand that power to women.  It’s a sad truth that without penis visibility, men are not likely to rise to the occasion and answer Mother Natures call for equality and equity.

They don’t have the balls for it. 

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