These are the ages that the strangers at the bar where I’m writing, lost their virginity. According to Google, the average age to lose your virginity is 17 and a half, but like… how many of the guys in that study were lying? Right?
I’m not a hater or anything, I just remember college orientation where they told us that 70% of college freshman hadn’t had sex yet. But if that’s true… then why are we so conditioned to fuck so early? And why was it that every high school jock wanna-be made fun of the nerds in the locker room for not having “closed the deal”.
Is it nature? In a world where historically speaking, you die at 35 and women are most primed to give birth in their teens and not their thirties, do we just naturally feel like our high school bodies should be knee-deep in sexual relations? Has our biological + sexual time-clock failed to re-adjust to our new life expectancy? Or is it our inability to separate entertainment from reality? Is it that we’ve become so connected as a species that we can’t distinguish between PEOPLE magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive and prom king?
Entertainment is a young person's game and it’s one filled with sex, be it music, movies, or pop culture. So maybe, in the age of social media, where everybody is your friend, young people aren’t able to separate what they see and who they are. If the more you know, the closer you feel, then between Snapchat and Wikipedia we are pretty much joined at the hip of everyone. And if we’re joined at the hip, then the genitals are next.
I’m not saying that people don’t naturally have sexual desires at an early age, but I’m curious as to why we feel ashamed to have either saved ourselves, not found the right person, or just not felt the need. Moreover, why we feel pressured to engage so early on. Is sexual prowess an indicator of sexual desire? Or worst, sexual attractiveness? Or is it just a reality of the situation? Does anyone ever take in to account all of the intricacies that must be aligned to have sex? If you’re single and have no fuck buddies having sex is complicated.
You have to be in the mood
You have to be out of your house (to meet them)
You have to have a viable bang spot
You have to meet someone
They have to be in the mood
They have to be out of their house (to meet you)
You both have to have availability
Someone needs a condom
Or you have to be on birth control and PreP and even then… use a condom
You both have to be attracted to each other
He can’t have ED
The list never ends!
Bottom line… there’s a lot that goes into it and not everybody is up for all the drama. So if you’re not fucking, don't sweat it. You do you, not him. Most of the people who are having sex are either lying about it or doing it wrong anyway. And in my opinion, it’s better to not have exerted any energy at all.