September 1, 2018

Ah, Labor day. The first Monday in September marking the end of summer timeshares, the beginning of school and the start of Fall fashion. With the amount of melanin featured on the September covers our first suggestion for what to do this weekend is to simply become a black woman. Why? Because they are slaying. If you can’t be one, the least you can do is buy one a drink and tell her you love her. Once you’ve done that, please continue reading:

First things first…. SHOP.


There are soooooo many sales! We recently compiled a list but even we got exhausted after 21 stores. Here's hoping you and your credit card are stronger than us. If not, Increase your credit limit, eat noting but Ramen and pray to God you have a delayed birthday check coming in the mail tomorrow. The savings are real, the fashion is necessary, and the temptation is ever present.

Next, SWIM.


Private pools – country clubs. Soho house, etc. – tend to live and die by the Memorial Day – Labor Day calendar so if that’s where your rent money is going then we suggest you just stay there all weekend and soak up the sun. However, if you’re not a Kardashian and can stomach a hotel lobby or God-forbid a public pool then while this may not be your last chance to get wet, it is the most important. The sun will be never feel as nice as it does on a Monday when you should be working. Summer bodies will never be as chiseled and sun-kissed as they are the hour before  Summer days turn to Fall nights. Most importantly all the hot / slutty tourist hanging out in whatever town you’re in are most certainly on their way out. So if there was every a chance for you to get lucky and weird at the same damn time… it’s now.

Moving right along. Once you’ve clean up, dried off and block the necessary numbers... it’s time drink. Yes honey. Yes ma’am. Yes Gawd. Let the drinks flow and the music blast. You simply must go out. Preferably someplace beach-y but if not, your local dive bar will do. Raise a glass to to the American dream and capitalist work ethic. And once you’ve drank your self into early retirement – that the Government will likely steal from you – you can slowly but surely slide into your final task…. SLEEP.



This is a long weekend. What’s the point of having an extra day if you don’t get in a few extra naps. See all your friends and do all the things but make sure you squeeze in at least an extra 8 hours. If not, your holiday will become a holi-don’t. (too much? Nah)

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