Pet.Shop.Boy. Oh My!

October 16, 2018


Somebody please come get your nephew, because he’s acting out on the 'gram.


When it comes to the Internet, I’ve never been surprised or disappointed with the men who possess both a certain level of attractiveness and a sense of humor. But when I stumbled across the crown jewel of social media that is @PetShopBoy… I knew that there was a God and that she truly knows my hearts desire. 


If you’ve never seen his profile, go to it now. Don’t worry… I’ll wait.

Now, do you get it?

Did you see him? So hot. Granted, I’m biased. I’ve been single for a very long time and he hits all my key spots. Chest, arms, doesn’t live with his mother and his ass literally looks like it was created in a lab by gay scientist. I can’t even.


But if for some reason you’re still on the fence about his greatness I’m happy to list off credentials. First off, his body, remember what I said before? Yeah, that’s still important.

Second of all, his name. B Graeter. Literally….. Be GREATER. Both a challenge and a motivational speech. What can’t he do?!? Mainly, I’m just really hoping that it’s not a nickname or shorthand. Like if the B is short for Brandon or worst…. Brett, I will lose my shit.  



Moving right along, he’s also like… a real person! According to my extensive research: he’s a graduate of Tufts University with a degree in photography (who would've thunk?!?). He’s a real estate agent in Brooklyn (which means he’s making 4% of gentrified prices). He also has a cute dog - and while it's a bonus, the dog is not as cute as him so I only care so much. Sorry Stevie.

Lastly’ it’s his sense of humor. A mix between of New York Gay and brown girl from the hood. B(e still my heart) Graeter is hilarious, intelligent and culturally relevant. The Chelsea Handler of Instagram that we never knew we needed. Besides the fact that he’s funny and hot he’s also everywhere. Literally, everywhere. You can find him on insta-story with a myriad of his favorite housewives. He’s friends with all the NYC power gays. And on a random fashion level, Chrissy Rutherford follows him AND likes his pictures. The jury is still out on if she's a fan, a friend, a colleague or a cousin, either way she shows up.


As I write this I worry that Mr. ShopBoy might be mad that we just blew up his spot but his profile is public and so is his LinkedIn, so like... don’t get mad at me. Just follow and consume. You're welcome.




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